Your highness...
Why are you mad?
Queen Mother, you first
Your highness, Dragon Fighter Lo Han
has stolen the peaches from my peach tree
and fed them to Nui Long's (a cowherd) cow
Not only that, he also...
conspired with the Magpie to build a bridge for
the cowherd & Spinster Maid's rendezvous; it's too much
I mean, they already have over a dozen kids
All along I've handled
lovers' relationships in the mortal world
Who would have thought he'd mess it up
such that the Emperor woo a whore
and a princess has to elope with a beggar?
I reprimanded him gently
but he cooked and ate my Heavenly Dog
Who are you?
I was Erlang Shen
Your highness, my eye
was also blinded by that bastard
This is a replacement for the Heavenly Dog
Law and order must be enforced
This Dragon Fighter is outrageous
I hope your highness permits me to beat him up
God of Fortune you needn't be that angry
these are small matters
He stole my Book of Destiny and messed it up
there hasn't been a death in 18 years
Those undertakers are out of work
and there's a centuries-old man
Your highness, if you don't teach him a lesson
I'll bring up this up with the 9-Layer Heaven.
Come men, summon Dragon Fighter to the palace
Yes.
Not so hard
I'm having an afternoon nap
Hey, everybody's here
You're not Dragon Fighter,you're Tiger Fighter
It's just the same
Tiger Fighter
Yes, your highness
It doesn't concern you. Why are you here?
I represent Dragon Fighter to apologize to you all
You're so loyal, you may have a hand in this too?
No
Do you think a fairy could get away with anything?
Tiger Fighter, you really are a real busybody
but you're a loyal friend
Thanks..
I think it's okay with just an apology
What? So easy?
Who are you to interrupt our conversation?
The two of us talking, What do you meddle very huh?
God of the Hearth, each year-end
you seek advantage in the mortal world
and if you don't get it
you speak ill of those families. Poke him!
You just did that, you want to do that again?
You poke your nose in everybody's business
Outrageous, you better compensate me for the peach
Queen Mother, what's the big deal?
What?
You must get fed up with peaches
What?
You better change to eating bananas
What? Let's have a fight if you're angry
Oh, don't have your dog bark for you
Don't think just because he has spots I won't eat him
I'll eat him all the same; who's next?
You Moon match-maker, you tie up a mess
with your broken old strings
Makes one earthly mutts wick san states
Take for instance the Butterfly Lovers
why not tie them together?
Now they have to die tragic deaths for love
What have they done to you to deserve this?
You're old, you should retire
before you make a mess of sexual relationship
Who knows, you may make wacky matches even...
between the same sex or say, men & animals
Worst of all would be an ant for a elephant
Poke him
He's old, spare him
King of Hades, are you standing up for him?
Poke him
Don't start that again, we should be reasonable
Why is there a woman in the mortal world
who bore 16 daughters
and was denied a boy? Why?
Consequently she jumped to sea to kill herself
Even in hell, he accused her of it
and flung her into a frying pan
Is there justice?
Dragon Fighter..
Fainting is no use
The fate of peoples' lives is destined,
and you shouldn't mess around with them
Why are you back so instead
I'm only carrying out orders
Whose orders? Who set them?
Who says it must be right?
A saying goes, 'There are other heavens'
Your highness, if your rules
were known by Bodhisattva in the ninth heaven
she'll think this is the joke of a moron
This is out of line
Your highness, fairies
Reckon, Dragon Fighter Lo Han is just too rampant
I think for everybody's advantage
may it please you to allow me to spar with him
What a joke. Can you beat him?
I want to fight him one on one
I'll not show him mercy
Even if there is a loophole in the laws of the heavens
there must be one which condemns you
Take them to the mortal world
one will be a pig, the other a dog
and to remain so for 7 lifetimes
Wait
What is it?
Is your word final?
Yes
I say you'll be a roach, what do you say?
Take them down
Wait
Greeting to Goddess
Each one of us has been a fairy
for at least eight to twelve thousand years
Worldly affairs to us
are petty and trivial
The mess Dragon Fighter Lo Han has caused today
might be an opportunity
Why not use it
to understand the mortal world?
To see if humans are really that trivial and petty
Or they have progressed
Goddess of Mercy speaks well
What a relief...
Goddess
This lad uses the pretext of righting wrongs
to challenge authority
Stop speaking nonsense, king of Hades
Matters will be taken care of
Dragon Fighter, what's your purpose
in doing such things?
I want these fairies to get off their high horses
and experience the mortal world
Humans only live less than a decade
and they shouldn't be condemned for a mistake or two
I believe
regardless of how ignorant and dumb they are
how worthless and deserving of death
faithful and just,
they are after all...
Speak up.
After all...
Subject to sympathy and love
Right, Dragon Fighter?
Yes, that's it
Let's begin with you.
going down to the mortal world to experience it
Do you dare?
In fact that's what I intend to do What proof do you have?
I've picked 3 people
their fates have been sealed
one will be a beggar for 9 lives
one a prostitute for 9 lives
one a villain for 9 lives
If you could change their destinies
you win
You say our fairies are bad
right then, you'll go as an ordinary human being
and not be allowed to use magic
No magic?
That's right
Use your sincerity to reform them, influence them
Okay, I'll not fail you
Wait for me
I'll give you 3 days
Thanks. But two and a half days will do
You don't have to listen to me
If you don't do
as I have said today
don't hope to return to the Heavens
Firstly, unless you have the official permit
you can't enter the Heaven
Secondly, you can't take magic powers with you
Ah Loong, God-speed
Same to you
Good brothers
What else do you have for me?
You're dead, you can't fight
and can't use magic, you're bound to die
Thanks
You're welcome
You won't die
When you re-incarnate in the mortal world
a golden body has been left behind
Once you combine with it
you can preserve your physical body and
transmigrate between the mortal and spiritual worlds
Besides, with it you can return to the Heaven too
That's great
This journey will be filled with danger
I'll present you with a Fan of Wishes
which can only be used thrice each day
Each time a crack will appear
after 3 times you'll have to wait till the next day
when the crack disappears
A mere 3 times a day, that's pathetic
It's better than nothing
The fan can't change life and death
nor manipulate freewill
It's just a sleight of hand but,
ordinary mortals are often mesmerized by what they see
So it would serve you well
Thank you
Be careful and don't falter in evil ways
I understand
Goddess does care much about you
You'll suffer without the fan
Yes...
Dragon Fighter
Did you intentionally
kick him down without the fan?
His heavenly highness decreed it had to be now
What?
What are you doing?
What are doing here?
Change of shifts
Good, get this fan to Dragon Fighter with me
You don't have the approval and
you won't have your magical powers in the mortal world
Humans can't see you
That's why I let you come with me
Besides the emperor of the heavens
you're the only who can come and go as you please
No, this is against Heavenly rules
Just do it once
we'll be back soon, let's go
I'm not going
You've eaten the Heavenly Dog cooked by Dragon Fighter
and you've eaten two peaches of the Queen Mother
That day while the Ninth Heaven Fairy's both maids were
The eighteen Lo Hons are on both sides
Dragon Fighter and Tiger Fighter are on this side
For a son... you need to pray to Goddess of Mercy
help me give birth to a male child
I hope you'll show your power
otherwise I'll be forty next year
I have been an official for all these years
I have been very just and have a clear conscience
I'm not asking too much
You never make demands for anything
why do the heavens destine us be without descendents?
Master
The eighteen Lo Hons are on both sides
Dragon & Tiger Fighter on this side; to ask for a son
You said just now
Goodbye!
We haven't prayed to the gods yet
Pray...
Dragon Fighter Lo Han
Master, we want...
I know, you want a son, right?
No problem
Hasn't been a delivery even after 18 months' pregnancy!
Madam, don't worry
Master, madam, look
Where did you pluck it?
over there.
Master, why?
Whenever a noble is born, Ling Tze plant will appear
From the way things look
our future young master must be a man of importance
The house is now full of mushrooms
Madam, this child...
Tell him yourself, he's coming out
Congratulations, madam has given birth
Boy or girl?
It's a boy, congratulations
Congratulations, master
Why have we landed here?
What's this place?
I asked you to take me to Dragon Fighter's birthplace
Just a few streets further
The wrong landing! Huh!
Who asked you to rock so much
Where's the boy?
I don't know either
Damn, everyone has a bad stomach
after eating at that restaurant
That's right
Could I please use your manure pit?
It's urgent
We only have two, help yourself
They run so swiftly
I can't hold it back much longer
Dragon Fighter...
Brother, I waited for ages
Not my fault
This bloody Unicorn misled me
Never mind, take your fan
I told you to buy two crickets
why have you gone for so long?
I hand-picked the best two of them
Ah Loong, damn, he can't see me
He is a mortal now. To contact him
you must re-incarnate and become human
He's now grown; too late for re-incarnation I guess
A day in the heavens is ten years on earth
but fear not, I'll blow you up
Blow me up?
But you'll lose your magic powers
and turn into a moron
Then it'll be no use contacting him
Come on! When the dark clouds cover the moon
the surveillance in the heavens is the weakest
you could steal back your magical powers then
Why such a soft voice?
Nobody will hear us
Big tummy
This one will do
Be nimble
I'll use this one
I'm going to re-incarnate
So comfortable, your turn...
Coming
Don't go away, Don't let go even a granny
What's the matter?
So comfortable Your tummy...
Damn, I've forgotten the fan, quick...
Coming...
So she's giving birth
Let's help them
Wife, a boy or a girl?
It's a fan
I have given birth to a son
You've given birth? That's great
Come, wear this girdle quickly
My son Sau Yuan wore this hen he was a child
It would just fit him now
Come... I'll blow you up
Again
Done!
Demon...
Is this some demon or what?
Nonsense, he's just playing magic tricks with you
Do you know how to play magic?
Master, I'll report this to the authority
What authority? I am the authority
It's better to let him stay
Look, how cute he is
He should be a nice baby to take care of
They might come back in future
to take him back
Kid?
Beat...
Who are you? Speak
You must know how to play magic, teach me
Are you playing dumb with me?
Milk...
Go and get milk from that lady
Let's see how long you can pretend
He's really autistic
You two are touching my wife
Your craving isn't satisfied yet
Go to hell
Go on, run
Brother...
Master, your pay might not be adequate to sustain him
I would need to get a part-time job
Isn't there an orphanage near our home?
I would not do a thing like that
He's learning a lot of things, and is eating a lot
was very much greater than before,
I have also taught him a lot
He'll soon be able to provide for himself
Look at me Call me
Abalone!
Abalone comes in pieces, call me elder brother
Younger brother
Silver and silver .. ..
He's too small to remember
Uncle
It's affinity, let's just do our best
You play with him, I need to read some documents
I also have to follow ...
Tiger Fighter Lo Han transfigures
Ah Loong
Brother, where had you been?
I don't have much time. Listen, you're a fairy
It's just that you don't know it yet
because your Heaven's cover is not yet opened
Remember to poke your head out when there's thunder
so that the clap thunder could open the cover
Then you'll revive your memory
Who's making all that noise there?
All that chaos is spoiling my urination
The bugs fly
What's up? Must have wet his pants, let me see
Fan, fan...
Go away
He is hopeless, poor thing
Fan, fan...
fan ... ha ha ..
Not this one
Doctor, please have a look at him
Does he have a chance?
No
I see, just asking, thanks
Master
Wang Da Fu's having trouble at home, they're all here
Really? Quick
Doctor, also I...
You bitch, What's the matter?
A stroke
Watch your mom at home
Isn't that Hsiao Yu from Yi Sheung brothel?
That's her Doing such an immoral thing in broad daylight
How shameful!
Consider yourselves lucky to watch this for free
What's all the complaining about?
What do you want? Come up if you have guts
Rest for a while
Why are we stopping? I am in a hurry
Luckily that's not me. What a way to die!
Well, did you want to have a look and compare?
Who threw me?
I did
Lady, be a bit more decent
What? I can't
I'm waiting here
Shameless, you'll be struck by thunder
Come and have fun when you have time
What I just said came true; good riddance
Strike her
Missed by a mile
Over there, aim accurately, try again
Dragon Fighter has re-incarnated in the mortal world
Moron
Milk
Tiger Fighter
Milk
You've become like this because of helping me
You're such a loyal friend
Milk What are you doing? Let me go
A prostitute for 9 lives
You're both women, why fight each other?
She's a whore
There are patriotic whores
..huhuhu ....
Thanks
I'll return for you soon
What's your name?
A name is just another label, call me whatever you like
Just do as you are told
Milk
It's here
Friend, I've waited a long time for you
Who are you?
Earth god, I don't blame you
Your Yuan Shen (spirit) has not returned
Don't be frightened
s long as you bring back your gold body it's okay
Also, your gold body
is sought by officials and bandits alike
Last month many people came for it
Are you the earth god or an extortioner?
The gold body is here
I am the gold body, I'm also...
It's no use telling me, tell them instead
Then, yes,
You've put the heads in the wrong place
Damage star
Really? Let's change them first
What is it?
Wooden fish
Fish?
Is this edible?
Master, excuse me, please listen
I don't know you
Thirteen life cycles ago
I was a monk in this temple
then I became abbot by the eighth life cycle
before the golden body passed away
I ascended the heavens and became a fairy, follow me
Guess what happened afterwards?
I became a Dragon Fighter Lo Han
which is me
I have come down to earth this time on a mission
as regards what the matter is you need not know
You are at best a common person
However considering the time you've spent here
you have accumulated some worthiness
So addressing you as master in front of your students
should give due respect to you
C'mon, go get me some clothes to change
Master, he is mad
But I like him as soon as I lay eyes on him
Bring the clothes
Yes
Good child
You've eaten all of it so quickly?
There's a bigger one outside
This is my stuff, you can't eat this
If you have to, then eat the one behind
Please be gentle
Master, give me a name as in the normal procedure
You are so mad, I'll call you Mad Monk
very good
Help, don't chase me
Beggar for 9 lives
Don't
So scary
Yuan Pa Tien
Hide quickly
Yuan is here, hide in my home, quick
Earth god
Villain of 9 lives. They are all gathered here
Have come here?
Help
I told you not to let me see you
A mere sight of you makes me so mad
I don't want you to see me either
Don't come near
I wanted to avoid you, but I couldn't
You can hit my head, but not my back
I'll burn down the temple, see where you can go
I'll burn you too, you stinking monk
You dare blow out my fire?
You...
Does it hurt?
I want you to see how it feels to be bullied
Throw down your sword and become a Buddha
I won't be mad, I love you
Be a new person, my child
Impossible, damn it
Go back and think deeply about it
I'll back for you soon
Don't beg anymore, go home with me
I don't want to...
What are you afraid of?
I don't want to go
Come on
Brother...
Child, why have you become like this?
I changed my hairstyle. Not bad, huh?
Why is the house like this?
Why mess with a character like Yuan Pa Tien?
Clean white white!
Li Sau Yuan, I swear I'll kill your whole family
Signed: Yuan Pa Tien
Master, he killed all our live stock
even rodents and roaches
including a pregnant roach, so cruel
Luckily I went with you to pray to the gods
He knows my background so soon. Great!
Unfortunately I'm not Li Sau Yuan anymore
His calligraphy is good
even the date is written down
He is so organized
Look at the mess here
yet you're still concerned with such matters
Master...
Your dad won't make it
Natural death is his good fortune
Let me see, he'll be an emperor in his next life
Not bad
Sau Yuan, are you mad, child?
Right, my new name is Mad Monk
Heavens, what has our family done wrong?
Right, if you have done nothing wrong
you should die with him
Madam...
Quick, give her some musk to smell
Don't move, they're okay
don't fiddle and make it worse
They're indeed a pair, they even die together
they'll continue their romance in the next life
How admirable!
Young master, what should we do?
like is fine
It's an auspicious affair, get a chicken to celebrate
and get a undertaker to give them a lift
Go... quick...
Let's go quickly
You can't go yet
you can sleep for a while
I...
Fan...
You two have given birth to so many
let me eat one
if you don't shake your head when I count to 3
that means you consent
1, 2, 3
Duck
You again
Outrageous
Don't come near...
I asked them already
You did?
Did he ask you?
No
How could a duck speak?
What more do you have to say?
Stop pulling me
Its mother must have seduced a parrot
that's why she could speak
Yes, her mother must have done that
Well, that's its business
who asked you to meddle in it? I tell you
we must have self-respect
If you want to eat them
you must get their consent first
Who would consent to being eaten?
I want to eat you now
Whoever is willing can come with me
I adore you
You can greet me Master
Master, what can I do for you?
Just let me know
It's late, you should sleep
Master, why do you treat me like a pig?
Asking me to sleep once you see me
Ta Chung, your father is here for you
Damn you, my father has been dead a long time
See for yourself
Dad, how are you?
Ta Chung, are you going to listen to your dad?
Yes
Then I advise you in dad's name
Never go begging again
I think so too
I should get a big trough to beg
Damn you
I only recall dad reprimanded me
Eat something first
I was thrown out by the people in this shop before
So much gold
Hold them tight
This way you won't be thrown out
Sir, please sit
Stinking monk, get lost
Please sit, sirs
Have a seat, I'll get some tea
Ta Chung, what would you like to eat?
Chicken tail
Damn your ass
You have money and face now
you should eat shark's fin
Alright
Order then
I dare not, you do it
You lack confidence even in this
how are you going to be successful? Summon your courage
Give me two days to think about it
Making fun of me? Speak
A bowl of shark's fin for me please
Louder, I want everybody to hear
A bowl of fish shit for me please
Not shit, fin
Don't force me
Don't be silly! Why would I do that?
Just say it and everything will be alright
Do as I say
I only want to eat chicken tail
I insist, say it
Say a bowl of shark's fin for me please
A bowl of shark's fin for me please
You bastard
Yummy
Outrageous! You bloody kid
Ta Chung, I don't want to waste anymore of my breath
Watch me
This is my real self, Dragon Fighter Lo Han
Ghost
A ghost is not like this
it's like this
Have you really fainted?
Who kicked my mouth?
Stop playing tricks
Cover a sheet and hang two sausages on your mouth
just to scare a beggar, are you nuts?
Somebody will fix him one day
He's nuts, scaring people like this in broad daylight
People nowadays aren't frightened of ghosts
Ta Chung, you see now?
You're really a fairy?
The real thing, if you have any wish
I can fulfill them for you
just let me know
I want you to take me to the heavens
What a fantastic wish!
I don't want to be the beggar anymore
At last I see you have pride
I want to be a fairy beggar
.
There'll be morning orisons tomorrow, let's rest early
Master, what should we do with the beggar outside?
Buddha is merciful and the temple is to serve people
Let him spend the night outside
Milk...
C'mon, take the wooden fish & other paraphernalia in
Milk...
Fish..
Kid
Brother
Bearing a piece of BBQ pork is better than having you
BBQ pork?
Hey hey ... a pig.
Not me, I stink, I can't be eaten
Tiger Fighter Lo Han transfigures
You're taking advantage of me?
You've made me pee in my pants of fright
Unicorn, what has happened to you?
This is my disguise to hide my identity
to inform you
What's up?
The heavens know you've come down to the mortal world &
have sent down plague God, spreading disease everywhere
and the scope of catastrophe
will be on your head
You have done much evil here and
you'll be demoted 3 grade when you return
You're sure to die
Tiger Fighter, are you awake?
Dragon Fighter, this is not my fault
Though it might not be your fault
you know how it's like with the fools up there
It matters little one is downgraded
but to harm so many lives
you're in trouble this time
That's right
What rule is that?
Tell me who ordered to spread the plague
A high directive
Damn
Which department?
Tell me, I won't say you told me
The recreation department
They are responsible for travels
They are linked to the accounts department
The accounts department pays salaries
Right
That's right
The damn thing is, accounts & the advertising dept.
Are brothers
while the advertising department & the welfare dept.
Struggle to have face...
Don't mind him, I'm going up now
Be careful and take care
Go up and apologize to see if there's any remedy
I'm going
This is most disastrous, do you agree?
A hundred died in a night
An evil spirit must be behind this
Damn beggar, so many poisonous sores
They'll kill you sooner or later
It's bigger here
Poisonous sores... I'm finished this time
Don't worry, they won't kill you
Dragon Fighter, Monkey King, the Supreme are here
I know there's a plague here
so I negotiated with the heavenly emperor
He said you should give a 1000 taels of silver so that
I can perform a mass and get rid of the plague for you
but this will shorten ten years of my life
No more tricks, you're disturbing my sleep
You...
what?
I do this for saving people's lives
I don't mind even if my life is shortened for ten years
Don't you understand?
What?
It's a big sacrifice
If you speak again, I'll stick your ass to your mouth
Only three times a day, you are lucky
Get someone as a sacrifice
What kind of person should that be?
Where to find such a person?
Quick...
One to whom life means nothing
Where to find?
You can find many at Yi Sheung brothel
What's this lousy bunch doing here so early?
This concerns the safety of the whole city
This .. .. dzô dzô go away ...
They have no choice
Let's go in together, chief, you go first
What's the matter?
Stop
What are you doing?
Master Tin, the plague has killed
a lot of people
What has it to do with my Yi Sheung brothel?
They wanted to find a couple of girls as sacrifice
Why don't you ask your mother to go?
That's right
Yesterday you told me that you hated your wife
Let her be the one
Master Tin, I know it's a hard decision for you
Why? They are all mine
Their lives are in my hands, isn't it?
That's right
The ones who nobody wants, come forward
I can save some cost, come forward, hurry...
No need for so many, one or two will suffice
Come and form a circle...
Hurry
Form a circle, hurry...
Hunch back lie down
Good
Whoever his toe points to, will be the one
That's not fair
You... not me
Take her away
Go
Do you remember what you've said to me yesterday?
I said you charged a high price
Go...
You dare create trouble here?
No ... not me
How should the sacrifice be offered?
Braise
It takes a long time then
Leave the left leg for me
I'll take a rest
Clean her up and get changed
No
She's so beautiful, it's a pity to have her burnt
Hurry and find a way to save her
To help only the beautiful one. I won't help you then
Your fan
has to wait until dawn for it's powers to return
Since we have to wait anyway
might as well wait till my powers are gone
You'll understand when I explain it to you
I don't understand
Do as I say
The auspicious time has come
Wait, may I ask how you know that
burning her will stop the plague?
The heavenly emperor told me in a dream
Queen Mother told me in a dream to
burn your mother
And if I scolded you three times
the two moles on your face would be gone
Nuts, go away
It's time, scold him
I... don't want to
Damn, damn, damn you
TThey're gone
It works
Look at his face, he's more potent than a fairy
Everyone, he has made an agreement with Queen Mother
there'll be no more plague, release her quickly
What if there is a plague
after she is released?
Right?
What to do?
I don't know
Let's do this way
If the plague still persists after she's burnt to death
I'll burn you all
Release her immediately
How? The fire is so fierce
Bring some water to put it out
The well nearby is blocked, where can we find water?
Any kind of water will do
I've got it
You're so bold, you don't even flinch
It's just saliva
Thank you
No problem
Take a rest
Don't go
Don't worry, they won't burn you again
Those lousy men used to be so nice
to me when in bed
Why did they want to burn me?
That's the reason
Those men who come to you,
treat you like a shit bowl
They feel comfortable when sitting on it
but they are not emotionally tied to it
I don't get it
That is to say never be a shit bowl anymore
Get it?
I've got it
What are you doing?
I want to repay you
No need, your whorish nature is incorrigible
You don't have to pay me
But I do
Worse than a shit bowl
What else can you do
besides lying down for money?
How about doing it upside down?
No way
Damn, why would I be talking to you about such things
What I mean is can you change your profession to
like selling bean curd or somethin'?
Should I put the stall at the door or beside the bed?
Master... I got half piece of bean curd
Smells good, any for me?
Have it all for yourself
Don't be like this, nothing left?
It's a foreign dog, not much taste
One more mouthful and I'll know
This dog has bitten two people to death before
eating it means I'm honoring its dead spirit
You're not qualified yet to eat it
Not really, Master
I am so very hungry
Be kind enough to leave me a bone
Please, Master, please
I know that you haven't swallowed it
Stop it
You bastard, what else can you do apart from begging?
Come again next time
Did you take the underpants?
Yes...
It's my turn
Come...
Hsiao Yu
How come it's you?
You aren't listening to me
You have no self love at all
I've done as you told me
You are simply hawking yourself in the street
How dare you say you are doing as you were told
That's right, I'm selling tofu
Really?
Hurry up, are you doing business or not?
We agreed we'd do it once for buying tofu from you
No? Give me back the money
Don't be angry, let's go...
Thanks for your advice
My business is good now
She's changed but in a wrong way
Ta Chung, follow me
Master, never call me by my name again
when in front of Hsiao Yu or her tofu stall
Alright?
What did I call you?
Beggar Ta Chung
Is your name Ta Chung?
Idiot, you've forgotten you're called Chu Ta Seung?
Stop beating...
If you want to beat me, go to the back alley
others will see us here
I'll take you to the back alley
So your pride will emerge
in front of Hsiao Yu
I've got it
Great
Who says they have no remedy?
They all have remedy!
Listen, fairies above, I'll surely win
You're bad, you peeping-tom
No, you are the bad one, I forbid you to say this
This is what
a decent girl should be like
It doesn't hurt, I know it's a dream
why else would I wear such clothing?
You can
What is it? So ugly
Look
Beautiful
Since a caterpillar can become a butterfly
a chicken can also become a phoenix
I want to be a phoenix, can I?
Phoenix?
Lord, you have good foresight
That monk has done all that you anticipated
If you need anything, just tell me
Call a prostitute? Maybe another day
I have no time
I can push you, but how dare you push me back?
Come here
Don't hit me
You've gone to the toilet, and you don't need a bath
what else do you need to do?
What has having a prostitute to do with me?
Hsiao Yu is waiting for her lover upstairs
Who is it?
Chu Ta Seung
Me?
A good-looking and presentable man
Ta Chung, you must remember
to leave by first watch of the night
otherwise, gold may turn into dog shit
and the poisonous sores will emerge
It'd be bad if people are scared to death
Do you have any familiar lady in mind?
Hsiao Yu
She is having her period
Her period has just ended
but she is not taking any client here
That's okay, she sometimes makes guest appearances
Follow me
Hsiao Yu
Call me Phoenix
This gentleman
How about I order some food for you?
What would you like?
A plate of chicken tail would be nice.
Did I say something wrong?
You're an epicure
What do you do?
I'm a beggar
So it's you
Do you mind?
Why would I?
When I see you it's like seeing that guy
Where's that guy?
That guy who has asked me to come
What does that guy want with me?
That guy asks me here to...
buy bean curd (have sex)
You're so naughty
You've come in good time, I'll fix you
With the possession of Shaolin Patriarch Dhama
In a lamp's time,
there's no reason I can't fix you
Stop.
Kill him
Yes
What happened?
Patriarch Dhama is really powerful
Dhama?
Scared?
You are deep in sin
I'll take you back to be a monk to do good deeds
Damn you
I'll beat you till you come with me
A cane, is this a joke?
Don't belittle me
I'm tired
See where you can run to?
Such a moron, so incorrigible Do you yield?
Damn you
So, that guy is a fairy?
I thought you knew
Sorry to have caused you so much effort
That's okay, my pleasure
Buy a few more
For a situation like this two will suffice
Tell that guy I'll sell soy milk as well tomorrow
Really?
Do you think he'll like it salty or sweet?
Salty
Add some preserved savory vegetables then
It's even better with sesame seeds
Lo Han soy milk
He likes dog meat
Dog meat Lo Han soy milk
Hsiao Yu's unbeatable soy milk
I've come for a prostitute
As matters stand I have to fight violence with violence
Iron Head
Reconciled to defeat now?
I only want you to be a monk, not go to hell
Come with me right now
You're simply incorrigible
Forget about being a monk
just refrain from killing people, okay?
Damn, are you a human being or a beast?
How does it feel?
Smooth
I never expected staying up all night to make soy milk
could be so joyous
Give me a break tonight
Let's compromise
If you back off and leave Hsiao Yu alone
they consider it later.
If I hadn't changed my body, I'd have been killed
You bastard I can't bear with it anymore
Buddha is merciful
Ta Chung, it's time
Is someone selling a dumpling (same sound as Ta Chung)?
There are dumplings sold everyday, never mind it
Magic have used it already, scamper away.
Magic is over! Go away
Why am I a beggar again?
What more do you want? You were in fact a beggar
I have to go
We're good friends
Why haven't you come down yet?
Bastard, have you seen someone with a big beard?
Yes, he seems to be taking a shit
Chase him
Halt
Little bastard, you look familiar
Heroes, you're mistaken
You...
I warned you not to let me see you
I get so angry when I do
You again wanna sponge off? No, I have money
Stop, I beg you, don't beat me
He's not a sponger, don't beat him
He's my boyfriend
You're cheap, you want even one with boils
Watch me
Boss, I told you it wasn't me
You still deny it?
Maybe it's just likeness
He is pretending
I don't have a beard
Maybe you shaved it off?
Who could do it so quickly?
ou're siding with a stranger!
I talk sense
You've hurt someone
So what?
You're determined to have a quarrel with me
You dare disobey what the boss tells you to do?
You bully others
I tell you, I'm at the end of my patience with you
Don't hit my boss...
Get lost, all of you
Get lost
Stop beating...
Don't, help
Sir, please don't
Let you see something good
Let her go please, sir
Hsiao Yu
Help me
I'll fight you to death
Ta Chung
Why didn't you knock?
Sorry...
Master, I...
What's taken him so long?
Back to original shape! Let's go
I can't move
Yuan Pa Tien
Damn beggar, go to hell
Don't call me Ta Chung, call me Chu Ta Seung
Ta Chung..Ta Chung..
You can't die, you must hang on, Ta Chung
You have no more magical powers?
Bastard.
Turn back his head
Turn back..
Open his eyes
Mr. Tien says to let you go, but be careful in future
What a show it was just now. You don't even blink
it was fascinating
You'll surely die this time
Earth god...
Come out at once
I'm here, stop shouting
How can I save Ta Chung?
A man's fate is pre-determined
one can't change Heaven's rules
Ta Chung has suffered a wrongful death
I have to save him no matter what
Please think of a way
A wrongful death means going to hell
King of Hades is strict
But ...
But what?
Before entering the City of Wrongful Deaths
there is an area governed by evil god Heh Lo Sha
he admits stray spirits
Anyone in his hands never gets reincarnated
But you may talk it over with him
Bring me down to him quickly
I'm only a junior god and thus not eligible
unlike you, you have a golden body for protection
which makes you invulnerable
I'll get back the golden body
You must treat the golden body seriously
I must do what is necessary
hat are you doing?
Let go
Master said this golden body cannot leave the temple
What if it does?
I don't know
That means it's okay
Let me borrow it, I'll pay you lots of interest
No
For just one night?
No
One hour?
No
OK, since you ask for it
What?
Big black ghost, stand still
What's the matter?
Let him go
Are you the Buddha?
No
You're rude
Let me tell you, I'm friends with the Buddha
I'll retrieve this person's spirit on his behalf
understand?
You've got guts, don't come near
Rubbish. Ask Sakyamuni to see me
Don't go
In fact I'm not on good terms with Buddha
I didn't know you and he had a grudge
Let's do it this way, I'll call you boss
since you have so many men under you
having one more doesn't matter
Treat this as a gift to me
What's in it for me?
What's in it?
I'll give your toenails a manicure, they are so long
okay?
Get lost
Exchange it with your golden body
Golden body? I can't give it to you
besides, you have no use for it
I mean, just as a display
Bastard, you damn black ghost, okay, it's done
Ta Chung, I'll bring you back at all costs
don't worry
Leave your golden body
You promised to exchange with me
Why have you taken his spirit?
Stinking monk, you're like a ghost
from where did you come from?
Damn, back up again
If you don't like it you can go back down
How could I without the golden body?
Ta Chung...
Lord
I'll do as you instruct me
and finish your enterprise
Don't be like that, alright?
Give me a little face
for what it's worth I'm in charge here
I told you not to be like this
What's the matter?
The fairy inside says
since you have consorted with evil spirits
they don't want to be with you
so they've all gone
They've returned to get their luggage
Sorry, for my life-long emoluments
I have to follow them
What's happening, where's the stuff?
Mad Monk, where's the golden body?
You've caused so much trouble, you're dead
Damn, the earth god is gone
We're in big trouble this time
Master, leave quickly
I told you before
the golden body cannot leave the temple
now you've caused anger among men and gods
how can I bear this responsibility?
Master, leave quickly
Master...
You blame me too?
You're reverting to your original form
You really leave me no way out
Hsiao Yu
I heard you were messed up by Mr. Tien last night
is that true?
Ignoring me
What's the big deal?
Wait
Calling me?
If I don't charge you money, would you take me?
Yes, we're coming immediately
Me too...
She asked me first, so I'm the first
It's not your turn yet
We can all do it together
Tell me, what will make you happy?
Marrying you
Stop joking
Marrying you
If I marry you
will you stop being a prostitute?
Yes
Really
We'll marry then
I am Dragon Fighter Lo Han, priest name Mad Monk
I'll take Pai Hsiao Yu as my wife today
Whatever comes in this life or came in the past life
I'll not regret it
I've been pillowed by any Tom,
Dick or Harry, you still..
Never mind, I can take it
You really love me?
I... I love you very much
How much?
As much as I love Ta Chung
Like Ta Chung? Yes..
Who do you love more?
The same
I'm afraid
you love him a bit more than me
No... the same
Why are you not happy?
Great, let's worship the ancestors
Alright
After that we'll consummate our marriage
We must be quick
Then we'll have kids
I'm afraid there's not enough time
Why?
If we fairies and earthlings join in marriage
the heavens will punish me
I'll turn into a log slowly
Don't say that
Your feet...
It's changing
Bastard, you're cheating me, right?
I... let's not talk about this now
Let's carry on with the worship
Why should I marry a piece of wood?
You take me for a fool?
It's alright..
as long as you don't regret not marrying me
Damn you
You pledged
It's your vow
I don't care if you marry me or not
you can't be a prostitute anymore
None of your business
Are you playing a joke on me?
Right, I am
What's the big deal being a fairy?
You have no feelings for me
You think I don't know?
I know everything
I've lost this time
I have nothing now
Really, nothing at all
Since you don't want me
I don't want love ever again in this life
No more!
I don't want love again in this life
Help..
Killing you will just make enough blood from forty nine people
Lord, I'll immerse with the golden body of Mad Monk
Even if you find him, his kung fu would be gone
Here at last, but it's no use anymore
Like a dead dog
Gods appear
Lo Han on top
Heaven soldiers reinforce
Villain of 9 lives, let's see which of us is tougher
You can't kill me
Really?
I'll kill you...
We came to terms with Heaven
If you admit losing and downgrade three levels
you can be a fairy again
Time is running out, go back quickly
Let me get rid of him first
Quickly go.
Do it quickly then
many lives would have been spared
The skin of Heh Lo Sha?
The lord has given me an immortal heart
you can't kill me
Look again at your immortal heart
A stone? How can this be?
Lord
He just wants your dedication to him only
Lord, you fool me!
So what?
You're such an ideal fool to be cheated
What treachery has Heh Lo Sha planned, speak
ou fool me
Speak, or I'll chop you
Alright
To stop Heh Lo Sha from going to the mortal world,
Buddha placed his scepter
To lower Buddha Guanyin in Chinese Qing self.
to cheat you out of your golden body
such that all the fairies fled
This is all part of his treachery
to rid the temple of heavenly protection
Then at the time when the moon is in eclipse tonight
he plans to get back the scepter
That means costing many lives
Ah Loong, there's no time left
If we don't return to the heavens
we've to stay on earth
Let's go quickly
I'm sad, give me back my heart, I don't want to die
You don't want to die?
Ta Chung, these tens of lives here
did they deserve to die?
You should have died long ago
even if you took back this lousy piece of stone
you'll still be puppets of Heh Lo Sha and
continue killing innocent folk; do you want to do that?
If you do, then take it back, go on
Don't let me be a human being in the next life
It's done
Let's go...
We can't leave
You're mad. Now if you don't go, won't be other chance
Heh Lo Sha is the culprit, I'll fix him
You go on first
Dragon Fighter
Dragon Fighter..
Really here
I'll now endow you with spiritual powers
from my spiritual training from thirteen life cycles
Everything depends on you today, understand?
Come on
Right
Mad Monk
Master
We meet again, let's get out of here quickly
Master, why are you here?
I shouldn't leave you on your own
at the temple at the critical moment
Why care about me if you know the danger?
Because you're the one person I admire most
Let's go quickly
Master, there's not much left of my golden body
I must use the last resort
I'll fight the remainder into his body
to overpower him
When your golden body is used up, you'll perish too.
No time to be bothered with that
How are you going to do it?
Just help me make him open his mouth
That simple?
Can you? Of course not.
Master... how are you?
My bowl
Where's the golden powder?
Master, didn't you...
Yes, I swallowed it all
I didn't want to either
My stomach feels strange now
Master, think of a way quickly to defecate the golden powder
But I'm always constipated
I remember now
There're still two golden teeth in my mouth
You stole them?
I have no teeth so I borrowed them
I can't hang on any longer
Master, do me this one last favor
and try to open his mouth
I'll use all my powers to fix you
I'm scared
Scared? Kneel and bow three times and I will spare you
What a funny laugh!
Mad Monk
Amitabha
I said he would lose
He's bound to lose...
He won't win
Bound to lose?
Just like Ta Chung the beggar
he could have twenty more years to beg for his living
now he's not only dead, he died as a beggar
That prostitute was disfigured because of him
The matter regarding Yuan Pa Tien is even worse
tens of lives were lost before he died
You say that..
How should I say it?
Failure
Not only a failure
If I fought him one on one and beat him
he wouldn't have made such a mess
Oh c'mon, you're always thinking of fighting one on one
Though Ta Chung dies a wrongful death
before he died
he at least knew he was called Chu Ta Seung
It means he got back his dignity
Look
he would not need to be a beggar again
Though Hsiao Yu was defaced
she's no longer a prostitute
and she's really selling bean curd
As for the villain Yuan Pa Tien
we all know,
when he died
he said he didn't want to be a human being anymore
and in this life he's a pig, he's got a bright future
Let us think
did Dragon Fighter win or lose?
Well...
No matter what
Dragon Fighter Lo Han no longer exists
This is just a joke
But now we have a senior Dragon Fighter
Way, Long Korea, South Long ...
Can't be... could he be a senior?
so happy too is fine.
I got promoted just like that
Let the promotion ceremony begin
congratulations
Thank you.
Dragon Fighter, what are your feelings
being made a senior Dragon Fighter today?
I want to be an emissary of peace and be a
Heavens' envoy to spread love throughout the world
and let them know that...
with love, anywhere is a paradise.